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Thoughts for the pessimists
What makes your brain tick?
According to researchers, any part of your body, if you don't use it you lose
it, and particularly your brain, the more you use it the more brainy you become.
What Makes A Relationship Last?
What makes a relationship last, according to psychological
research, it depends on the two people and their ideas of what a 'good'
relationship means.
Looking at the research on why partners stay together, four
themes emerge - focused around a big question:
Do you and your partner exchange responsibility for
communication and conflict?
Here's the check list:
Social Exchange
Long term lovers negotiate an exchange of resources that is flexible, rewarding,
and fair.
For couples to stay together, they must, over time, feel
they're getting about as much as they're giving - and vice versa.
Responsibility
Cinderella And Sleeping Beauty aside, no one is going to ride up on a white
horse and carry us off into the sunset.
And, if they did, research suggests we'd dump them eventually.
Among couples who stay together, each partner takes personal
responsibility for his or her own health, wealth, and well being.
Communication
Couples who talk about things tend to work them out, and couples who can affirm
the other's feelings -
whether or not they agree with the content, have a leg up on
the relationship ladder.
Conflict
We all have conflicts. Meeting them head on - early and often - is what it takes
to save the relationship from breaking up over them.
It's a heck of a lot easier to describe what makes love last
than to do it
Research studies often can't describe the hurt feelings,
stubborn beliefs, and lack of skills that so often dampen the love between two
people over time.
In reality, if you find someone who's willing to work on your relationship as
hard as you are, I'd say you've found something worth keeping.
Source:
Article extracts, author unknown.
What's the moral in these stories?
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